Some thoughts before I sleep

Today wasn’t boring, or fun. It was just … today.  I did what I always do; talk to my friends. However, I have been feeling rather explosive lately, like I could go off on someone at any moment. Now, I know who to take my anger out on, and who not to. I just feel an outburst is long overdue, and that’s because it is. I just let my emotions bottle up. I’m currently listening to Pentatonix in headphones, as I write this; hoping to relax, and it’s working a bit. 

  I’m also anxious; I have this job interview tomorrow, and I’m hoping, and praying I get this job. Living like this is depressing, especially when there’s nowhere to  escape to. It’s almost like I have no safe place to hide.   Ugh, tomorrow, I have a lot of job applications to fill out, and a lot of calls to make. It’s just time I start doing what I need to do for me, even if it means hurting some people along the way. They’ll just have to deal with it. I have to learn to be selfish, and not so kind, because i feel my  kindness is being taken for weakness, and my blindness is being taken for stupidity. So, with that being said, tomorrow, i’m making some moves. I just need some motivation to keep pushing forWard; I feel determined to do these things now, but in a few days,  I’ll be discouraged all over again, so who’s gonna help me? Who’s gonna be the one to help me stay on track? I’m serious, it’s time for a change. Goodnight, I’m going to try to sleep. Wish me luck; I’ll need it.  

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